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<p align="left">CC73:</p><p align="left">Agree that long term committed/stable relationship is ideal, married or not. Swinging is inherently risky for a couple, you are opening up your relationship to explore things which traditionally are not allowed in most of society. It opens the door to emotions and feelings…and far too many people start to explore as things in a relationship might be winding down, the "save our relationship" angle (which to be fair can work). </p><p align="left">The removal of barriers to entry some 20 years ago, led to a lot more unstable couples getting into things, people who hadn't gone through the conversations and discussions…and instead acted on a whim. It created a much larger, younger but also inherently less stable scene. It was a fun ride, while it lasted. Add in the increasing emphasis on singles of both genders (who by definition are not opening a relationship up) as being equal parts of this scene and stability was lessened again. What was a somewhat cohesive community with similar rules and mindsets when I first got into this 30 years ago, became a confusing mishmash of styles of participation. I watched many couples who successfully navigated playing with other couples, orgies, etc…start to try more advance level participation with singles or open relationships with solo dating. I saw a lot of marriages and relationships end with that, but it was sold as part of the everything goes model as the norms that were passed down from couples that successfully navigated this scene were tossed aside. Wheels had to be reinvented, everybody knows everything and no need to learn from those who came before…people have to make their own mistakes. Humans.</p><p align="left">Old school swinging worked very well, but had its baggage of perception. It also didn't work at all for some groups, in particular single males with or without a plus one. There was a strong motivation to dismantle that system that kept them out, and sell it with a "if you were really open minded" argument. Factor in the mythology that four way connections are hard to find and an emphasis on the party over the sex…well it is certainly different out there. Your mileage will vary.</p><p align="left"><br></p><p align="left">Richard<br></p>
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